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As a young man, Danny Trejo enjoyed long swims in the brisk Atlantic. One night in 1912 he collided with a ocean liner. The "iceberg" myth was started to avoid further ridicule of the ship's designers.
Danny Trejo once stopped a bus in its tracks. Many children died.
Normally when contestants get to the final puzzle on The Wheel of Fortune they are given the letters ‘R S T L N E.” When Danny Trejo was a contestant they gave him all 26 letters, the numbers 0 thru 9, the symbols ‘! @ # $ % ^ & *’ and the color green.
Danny Trejo has no license. Instead he carries a copy of “Reindeer Games” at all times for identification purposes.
Danny Trejo can stare down a mannequin, and win.
Danny Trejo believes in “an eye for an eye” justice. He also believes in the “3 strikes” policy.
Forest Whitaker, Shannon Doherty and Peter Falk all tried to poke Danny in the eye once.
Stevie Wonder tried to poke him in the eye twice.
Ray Charles tried three times…
When Danny Trejo is in close proximity to a Catholic Church, Holy Water boils and statues cry.
When Mike Huckabee gives a speech he has Chuck Norris come to provide support. When Chuck Norris gives a speech he has Danny Trejo come to provide protection.
Danny Trejo doesn’t help old ladies cross the road. He pushes them into traffic.
Every time Danny Trejo goes to the supermarket, he waits until no one is looking and then takes a life… Cinnamon Life to be exact.
Danny Trejo told the parole board when to let him out.
During the course of his life, Danny Trejo has killed masses of people and 13 highways. (The song “Life is a Highway” had him confused for a while)
Danny Trejo doesn't have to wait to take a life.....Life comes to Danny trejo.
Danny was born Daniel Dennis Trejo. When he was 6, he was on a camping trip with his family. While he was taking a leak by the tree, he was being bothered by mosquitoes. He started to urinate in the bugs’ general direction and they immediately died. His family decided to bottle his urine and market it as D.D.T.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Danny Trejo
Danny Trejo doesn’t actually grow his own moustache. Instead he plucks a single hair from each of his victims and sticks it in his upper lip to keep track.
The only true shark repellant IS Danny Trejo.
Danny Trejo doesn't have an ATM card, he just stares at the ATM machine and money comes out.
Every time crime tries to take a bite out of Danny Trejo, kittens die.
Danny Trejo plays yahtzee with 12 sided dice.
Danny Trejo does not smoke peace pipes, he smokes copper pipes.
Martial arts were invented (but to no avail) to defend one’s self from Danny Trejo
When Danny Trejo guest hosts on Jeopardy, the answer is always “Violence.”
Danny Trejo made his millions as a con artist. He sold the complete DVD set of “To Catch A Predator” to the Aliens.
On “To Catch a Predator,” Danny Trejo guest starred as the 13-yr-old decoy – Director’s Cut
Danny Trejo hates Styrofoam.
Danny Trejo brushes his teeth 3 times a day… with Skoal.
Ghosts are afraid of Danny Trejo
When Danny Trejo makes a bet he doesn’t get odds… he gets even.
When Danny Trejo sleeps, there’s less casualties.
It is easy to follow Danny Trejo when driving. Just look for the “STOP” signs that are spray painted with “MAKE ME.”
Danny Trejo makes Lindsey Lohan bake him girl scout cookies.
Danny Trejo gets a greeting from the Wal-mart greeter....at K-Mart.
Danny Trejo can get McDonald’s breakfast any time of the day… from Burger King.
Businesses are not required to have a handicap ramp to accommodate those in wheel chairs coming to work. They’re required to have a ramp to accommodate those leaving work who have upset Danny Trejo.
Danny Trejo can make a traffic light turn from red to green just by staring at it.
When Danny Trejo has an asthma attack he uses an exhaler.
Every soccer match Danny Trejo has ever played in or attended has ended in a shootout. Surprisingly the same can be said for every baseball, basketball and football game.
Danny Trejo makes guitar amplifiers that go to '12.'
Danny Trejo beat Bobby Fischer in a Chess match with one red checker and a
cannon from a Risk game.
Danny Trejo has a pair of boots made out of baby seal tongues… They are soft.
Danny Trejo was hungry. He used a knife to make the Lion King into a delicacy.
if I had an option I would chose this: dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you...
versus: Danny Trejo
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, and Chuck Norris beats all 3 who wins? Answer: Danny Trejo
Danny Trejo, Luke Skywalker's real father.
Danny Trejo is so tough that under his mustache he doesn't have an upper lip he has Chuck Norris.
Danny Trejo doesn’t actually speak English. His presence is so powerful that when people see him in person or on film they immediately understand Spanish.
Danny Trejo has never pitied a fool. He just kills them.
Danny Trejo has x-ray vision. When he punches someone through the chest, he can see through them.
Danny Trejo IS the 2nd Amendment
Danny Trejo likes knuckle sanwiches…with a lot of cinco de mayo.
Danny Trejo likes to go back to prison now and then, to show those sissies what a real man is. He calls them “seminars.”
There’s a saying that goes “I’m going to hit you so hard your children’s children will feel it.”
Danny Trejo once hit Stephen Hawking’s grandpa.
Danny Trejo saved a train from derailing by laying down on the tracks after seeing a missing railroad tie was missing. After the train passed over him, he simply got up, frowned at the clouds, and it was sunny again.
Danny Trejo scares people’s shadows away.
Danny Trejo sneezed once, just to see how it felt. Shortly after that the dinosaurs became extinct.
Danny Trejo stays in shape by using a pull-up bar… to relentlessly beat other residents in his condo complex.
Danny Trejo uses his own paper currency that he prints himself. It includes a picture of him clutching a bald eagle in his mouth.
Danny Trejo wears leather pants. Chuck’s.
Danny Trejo, much like a starfish, can regenerate. On February 3rd, 1970, he lost a finger in a meat cutting accident. He grew the missing piece back. Meanwhile, the piece that fell off grew into Warwick Davis.
Despite common perception, Danny is very advanced when it comes to information technologies. In fact, sometimes he hacks email servers and deletes portions of messages just for
Despite initial reports, the true cause of Brad Renfro’s recent death can be traced back to last year’s Oscars where Brad saw Mr. Trejo and referred to him as “Dan.” An autopsy confirmed that the true cause of Brad’s death was an overdose… of punches.
In “Man vs Wild,” Bear demonstrates how to survive in the wilderness.
In “Chinga tu Madre,” Danny Trejo teaches how to make knifes out of plastic spoons.
It’s no secret that Danny Trejo is responsible for dishing out brain damage-inducing beatings on a large number of people. What has been kept secret however is that the government has been keeping all of those people in one place for generations. That place is now known as Arkansas.
One hears thunder because Danny Trejo burped.
Phones have long been designed with Police, Ambulance, Fire and Poison Control buttons. The newest models are being designed with an additional button: Danny Trejo Control. However, when pressed, this button merely calls for an ambulance, as we all know there is no way to control Danny Trejo.
Since Danny Trejo does his own stunts, he really took that beating and bullet in HEAT. He was fully recovered 5 minutes after the scene was filmed.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. Danny Trejo doesn't need no stickin' pajamas.
The Green Bay Packers were forced to lose the game after they all got a memo from Vegas. The memo said:
You better NOT win
Signed,
DT
The media would have you believe that Christopher Reeves became paralyzed in a horse riding accident. The truth is that Danny Trejo threw him from the top of the Sears Tower because he “just wanted to see if Superman still had it in him.”
The movie Karate Kid is loosely based on the life of Danny Trejo (thus the “Daniel” character). However, in reality Danny did not learn the crane kick from an old Asian man. Instead he killed an old man with a sandhill crane while listening to Asia, just for kicks. Then, on November 24, 2005, he visited Pat Morita to discuss the movie’s inaccuracies. While the movie was not corrected, Pat Morita was.
The Romans modeled their military tactics after Danny Trejo’s rough skin.
There really is no medical procedure associated with cleansing the colon. They merely show the patient Danny’s picture and it scares the s**t out of them.
When Danny pours milk on his Rice Krispes there is only silence.
When Danny Trejo spills milk, Jessica Biel cleans up the mess.
While a normal man’s body is 80% water, Danny Trejo’s is 80% Jack Daniels. The other 20% is cola.
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